Silent Night
by Robin Terrae
Summary: Yuki comes home from NY to find that not everything is as it should be with Shuichi. Shounenai, spoilers, takes place after ep 13. Complete
1. Baby Come Back

Unfortunately, I do not own the wonderful boys of Gravitation. And since they are not mine, I'm not making any money using them in fanfic. So you can't sue. However, if you want my tuition bills, then please, take it.   
  
This fic contains spoilers for the 13 episode TV series. I was kept on the edge of my seat all during these 13 episodes, there was never any type of conclusion.. so I wrote this fic instead. ^_^   
  
Christmas present for Splash, because she complained that she already read all the Gravi fics and needed some more. Well, here you are, dear. ^_^   
  
And a big thank you to Galaxia for reading through this and suggesting a fic title. You are the best, dear. ^_^   
  
Perviously posted at Media Miner and Robin's Sanctuary. The sequel (a Gravi/Weiß x-over), currently in progress, can be found at both these places...   
  
  
**Silent Night**  
  
By: Robin Terrae   
  
  
Chapter 1: Baby Come Back   
  
  
Shindou Shuichi sighed warily as he entered the apartment. Ever since Bad Luck had announced their plans for a local tour around Japan, the group had been doing almost non-stop rehearsals. But it wasn't just that that made him tired. He hadn't been able to sleep since the last concert, and the few hours that he slept were full of images of Yuki actually using the gun that he had been holding in that run down apartment for it's intended purpose. Instead, he had stayed up all night, staring at the ceiling of the living room. He hadn't dared to touch anything of Yuki's since the blond had left for New York City. Shuichi wanted everything the same in case his lover ever decided to return home. Although he told the others that he had given up on Yuki Eiri, his heart wouldn't let him.   
  
The young man dropped his exhausted body onto the couch, curling on his side. He was tired. Tired of lying to his friends, tired of lying to himself. He loved Yuki, he had even admitted it to the older man, but it seemed to accomplish nothing. He was still here in Tokyo, alone, and Yuki was... Yuki was somewhere in the world.   
  
Shuichi debated on getting up and going into the bedroom to sleep in the bed, but decided against it. The room was Yuki's and he didn't dare go in there unless invited. Some part of his mind whispered that this was pathetic, that Yuki wasn't around anymore, and he could do what he wished. But Shuichi squashed that thought. Yuki had to come back.   
  
He *had* too.   
  
****   
  
Yuki Eiri paused outside the apartment building. Part of him wondered if this was wise, coming back to the pink-haired young man that had caused him so much pain... and so much joy, even if he didn't want to admit it. His fist closed around the key in his hand. Although Shuichi wasn't the most eloquent speakers that Yuki had come across, the little vocalist knew how to get his point across when he wanted to.   
  
A few minutes later, Yuki stood outside the door. Stealing his resolve, he pushed to door open, entering into the dark apartment. Removing his shoes, he entered into the living room, stopping short when he saw Shuichi sleeping on the couch, curled up in a fetal position, pillow clutched tightly in his small hands.   
  
"Baka." Yuki whispered, tone laced slightly with affection. He padded over to his young lover, staring down at the pink head. Yuki couldn't be sure, but to him Shuichi's face looked paler than usual, and dark circles were under his eyes. Yuki grimaced, realizing that once again he had caused this beautiful young man pain. Reaching out, he ran a hand through Shuichi's hair; letting his senses reorient themselves with Shuichi.   
  
Shuichi groaned, and Yuki sat back abruptly, watching his lover. For a moment, he thought that Shuichi was about to wake up, but he remained asleep, his head turning sideways, his brow furrowing. Yuki could pick up mumblings under his breath, and leaned down to hear the words.   
  
"no... don't.. please, Yuki..." the words became more jumbled as he listened. For a moment, the blond was tempted to once again reach out to lay a hand on Shuichi's head and run it through the pink curls, but he stopped a centimeter away from Shuichi's head, staring down at his hand in disbelief. What the hell was he doing? He never would've done that before.   
  
_ "You're going back to him, aren't you?"   
  
"Jealously doesn't suit you, Tohma."   
  
"Eiri-san..."   
  
_ Yuki sat back on his heels, staring down at the sleeping Shuichi in silent contemplation. What right did he have to come back here? He had left Shuichi alone, had fled the light in order to return to the darkness.   
  
Of course, he should've realized that a light like his doesn't let go to easily.   
  
_"... but why? You'll only end up getting hurt again."   
  
"Do you really think so little of Shuichi, Tohma? Go home."   
  
"But..."   
  
"Go home to Mika."_   
  
Shuichi mumbled in his sleep again, and Yuki noticed that the mumblings had started again, and were beginning to increase in volume. Shuichi began to move, tossing his head back and forth, as if caught in some nightmare. Yuki stared; the last time he ever remembered Shuichi having nightmares was after the incident with the lead singer of ASK, and those had ended not long before he had disappeared.   
  
"Yuki.. please.... YUKI!!!!!!"   
  
Yuki fell back onto his butt as Shuichi sat straight up, clutching his chest as it heaved. Tears ran unchecked down his face, and he brought up one head to belatedly wipe then away. He hunched over, burying his face in his hands. "Damnit..." he hoarsely whispered. "Yuki.. where are you...?"   
  
Yuki was shocked to hear the tried, exhausted tone that laced his lover's voice. He had never heard Shuichi sound so defeated before.   
  
"If he was here, he would've called me.."   
  
"Baka."   
  
"Yeah, called me Baka, and then tell me to go back to sle..." Shuichi's voice trailed off, his head snapping up, violet eyes wide, pink hair damp with sweat. "Yuki?" he breathed.   
  
"Over here, Baka." Yuki watched mildly amused as Shuichi turned to look at him. "And you're right, I would tell you to go back to sleep."   
  
Shuichi just stared at the blond before him, his mind unable to process what was going on. "Yuki...?" he asked softly, his hand reaching out towards Yuki. "You came back..." Suddenly, Shuichi's voice trailed off, and he felt his eyes closing, his balance no longer there as he began to fall forward.   
  
Yuki looked alarmed, and reached out, catching Shuichi's falling form in his arms. The younger man glanced up at him, reaching out with one shaking hand, tracing Yuki's smooth cheek before it fell limply to his side. "You came back..." he whispered, before the darkness took him whole, the last thing filling his vision was of Yuki's alarmed face, and the last thing he heard was Yuki's voice shouting his name.   
  
Then the world was black.   
  
  
TBC??   
  
Well, how is that for a first Gravi fic? ^_^ 


	2. Truth

Whee! Second Chapter to my first Gravitation fic! As said before, Shuichi, Yuki, and the others from this wonderful series do not belong to me... no matter how much I want them to.   
  
Warning: Spoilers for the 13 episodes of the TV series, including ASK, Yuki's past, and Tohma.   
  
A Big thank you to Galaxia for once again pointing out my mistakes.   
  
Splash, I hope that you enjoy! ^_^   
  
  
**Silent Night**  
  
By: Robin Terrae   
  
  
Chapter 2: Truth   
  
  
Yuki hated hospitals. Always had and always would. Especially since he wasn't allowed to have a cigarette while he was waiting for word on Shuichi's condition. He really wished those damned doctors would hurry up and finish their examination of his lover so he could relax.   
  
He sighed, running a hand through blond hair. Although he would never admit it out loud, Shuichi collapsing into his arms scared the hell out of him. He had fears that he never voiced about the young musician finally getting pissed off enough about Yuki's seemingly unfeeling ways and leaving him, finding someone else to treat him like the wonderful person he was.   
  
_"Shuichi isn't going to take being treated like that forever. One day, he's going to grow tried of waiting for you and move on... and that scares you more than anything, doesn't it?",_ A voice whispered to him in the back of his mind, sounding like Shuichi.   
  
Tohma was wrong.   
  
It wasn't Shuichi that was hurting him.   
  
It was he that was hurting Shuichi.   
  
****   
  
"Uesugi-san?"   
  
Yuki glanced up at the sound of his real last name. "Yes?"   
  
A woman in a white lab coat stared at him, brown eyes soft behind the wire of her glasses, her dirty-blond hair falling from a bun and framing her face. "You are waiting for information on Shindou-san's condition, are you not?" he voice was clipped; matter of fact, and one would have considered her rude, if they didn't look into her eyes.   
  
Yuki nodded, and the doctor indicated for him to follow her. Yuki rose, and followed her down the hall, heading for what he assumed was Shuichi's room. After a few moments, he asked, "What's wrong with Shuichi?"   
  
She glanced over at him, as if studying him, then answered, "Nothing life-threatening. He is suffering from exhaustion, and I don't believe that he has really eaten anything in the past couple of days. I understand that he is the lead vocalist of Bad Luck..."   
  
"He is." Yuki confirmed.   
  
"I believe that's he has been under too much pressure, and his fainting spell was his body's way of telling him that he needs to slow down. Can you tell me what he has been doing in the past couple of days?"   
  
"I... don't know." Yuki answered, stopping as she stood outside the door that led to his lover's room. "I was recently out of the country on business and only returned tonight."   
  
She nodded, "I see." She laid a hand on the doorknob, but didn't push it open. Yuki stood behind her, staring at her questionably. "We're going to keep him overnight to monitor him, and then I'm going to suggest that he does nothing strenuous for at least 2 weeks. No recording, no rehearsals, no nothing. Just sleeping, eating, and curling up with a loved one." She said the last with a lighter tone to her voice, and that caused Yuki's head to snap up, staring at her in surprise. "I trust you can take care that, right?" She didn't let Yuki answer, instead pushing the door open, "He's sleeping, but you can stay with him if you like. I'll be by in a couple of hours to check up on him."   
  
Yuki nodded, moving into the doorway, before turning around, "Thank you, Dr...."   
  
"Mitsuga. Hanako Mitsuga."   
  
"Dr. Mitsuga."   
  
She smiled at him, "It's my job, Uesugi-san." She gestured to Shuichi, who was sleeping on the bed. "Take care of him." She left the room closing the door behind her.   
  
Yuki stared at the door for a couple of minutes before approaching the bedside. Shuichi laid there quietly, pink hair fanning the pillow under his head. Yuki reached out and grabbed the hand that wasn't connected to the IV, holding it gently in his, rubbing his fingers over the soft skin.   
  
He didn't understand Shuichi at all. He wondered what a young, vibrant man like this could see in a jaded, jerk like him. Not for the first time, Yuki was struck by how unhealthy this relationship could be, but he knew that he wasn't about to give up on it. Reaching over with a hand, he gently pressed one hand against Shuichi's cheek, letting it linger there as he stared down at the pale face of his lover.   
  
The door opened, and Yuki glanced up to meet the face of Shuichi's best friend and band mate Nakano Hiroshi. If Hiro looked startled to see him, he didn't show it, instead stating simply, "I see that you came back." Yuki nodded in response, and Hiro sighed, "I'm glad, I knew that he wasn't fine, no matter what he kept telling everyone else, and he won't listen to any of us anymore." Hiro walked in to the room, standing on the other side of the bed, staring down at Shuichi, "So, what did the doctor say?"   
  
"He fainted due to exhaustion and not eating. They are going to keep him for a while for observation. And then he supposed to take at least two weeks off from everything."   
  
"Sakano is going to flip." Hiro snorted, looking over at Shuichi with affection, "He never did know when to quit." He moved back to the door. "The others are here. I'm going to go and tell them how he's doing... Sakuma-san was in tears when he heard, and not even Tatsuha could calm him down."   
  
Yuki nodded, his attention once again focused on his sleeping lover. Hiro smiled to himself as he exited the room.   
  
So, Yuki wasn't made of ice as everybody thought. He knew it.   
  
****   
  
Seguchi Tohma stood in the shadows, watching as Yuki Eiri sat next to his lover's bedside, holding the musician's hand as he slept. "You came back."   
  
"I told you that I would." Was Yuki's curt response, not even bothering to spare the other man a glance.   
  
"I take it that you are going to continue this, Eiri-san?" Tohma asked softly, his voice hard.   
  
"I told him, you know."   
  
Tohma's eyes widened. "You... what?" That was something that he hadn't been expecting.   
  
"Told him what happened to Yuki... In New York." At last, Yuki turned around to stare at Tohma, "That I killed him."   
  
"Then... Eiri-san... you didn't..."   
  
"Mention the rest? No, although after his encounter with Aizawa, I'm sure that he'd understand." Yuki stated, his voice neutral.   
  
"Aizawa?" Tohma echoed, staring at Yuki, "What does he have to do with this? I took care of him..."   
  
"I know, because he threatened me. Tell me Tohma, do you really care about anyone?" Yuki asked, his tone hard as he stared at the president of N-G, and keyboardist for Nittle Grasper.   
  
"I care about y..." the other man started to say, but trailed off when he saw the anger in Yuki's eyes.   
  
"No, you don't. If you did, you would have left Shuichi out of this. You should've stopped Aizawa before he got anywhere near Shuichi. Stop trying to become something to me that you're not, Tohma. You are my brother-in-law, and that is all. Shuichi is my lover, not you. So leave him alone." Yuki's voice was low with anger, and although he didn't want to say the stuff that he was saying out loud, he knew that he had to, in order to get Tohma to understand, and maybe even his sister too. "Leave, Tohma." He stated quietly, his gaze once again on his lover.   
  
Tohma, his blue eyes large, nodded, and left, the soft clicking of the door closing behind him the only sign that he had once been there.   
  
  
TBC...   
  
Okay, I have to explain this a little. Tohma admitted that he did in fact like Yuki when he pushed Aizawa in front of the car. Every time Tohma tried to tell either Shuichi that Yuki would leave him or Yuki to end his relationship with Shuichi, I wanted to hit him. Other than that, I like his character.   
  
Aizawa is (was?) the lead vocalist of the band ASK which was popular before Bad Luck came along. He hired some guys to beat (and maybe rape) Shuichi and took pictures of it in order to hurt both Shuichi and Yuki. Yuki, of course, found out about this from Hiro and went to 'speak' with Aizawa. What follows is Tohma being evil because Aizawa dared to try to hurt Yuki. ^_- I also thought the parallel between this and Yuki's past was something not overly talked about, so I figured that I'd try it.   
  



	3. Out of Character Actions

Gravitation and its characters are not mine... unfortunately. I know that I was slightly mean to Tohma... don't worry; I'll make it up to him. ^_^   
  
For Splash. May your Christmases be filled with little Yamas and Yukis. ^_-   
  
And a huge thank you once again to both Galaxia-chan (Happy early Birthday, dear!) and my mother for giving this a read through. ^_^   
  
And my muses are trying to convince me to write a Gravitation and Weiß Kreuz crossover with Omi and Shuichi being half-brothers... *smacks random muse over the head with mallet*   
  
Random Muse: Itai....   
  
^_^   
  
  
**Silent Night**  
  
By: Robin Terrae   
  
  
Chapter 3: Out of Character Actions   
  
  
Shuichi woke slowly, blinking as his violet eyes tried to focus on his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was waking up from another one of his nightmares, and hearing Yuki's voice. _'You must be going crazy.'_ A voice whispered in the back of his mind. He brought up a hand to run it through his hand, when he realized that his surroundings were no longer those of Yuki's apartment. He glanced around in confusion, his eyes finally falling on the IV that was inserted in the back if his hand.   
  
_A hospital room? How the hell did I get here? Why can't I remember? _   
  
Suddenly the door opened, and a middle-aged woman doctor poked her head in the room. "Ah, Shindou-san, I see that you are awake."   
  
"Uh.. yeah.." Shuichi stared at the woman for a passing second, "Um... what happened?"   
  
"According to Uesugi-san, you fainted right into his arms." She answered, coming closer to him, looking him over.   
  
"Fainted?" Shuichi repeated, his voice echoing his confusion.   
  
"Yes, that's what happens when you forget to eat and sleep, Shindou-san." She explained, looking him over critically. Shuichi found himself wilting under the gaze, pushing himself back into his pillow. "Uesugi-san spent all night here... One of the nurses finally convinced him to get a cup of coffee or something. Not to mention the crowd that was here when someone had leaked to the press that Shindou Shuichi, the vocalist of the hot new band Bad Luck, had to be rushed to the hospital."   
  
Shuichi nodded, still staring up at her. It finally dawned on him exactly what she meant when she said that 'Uesugi-san spent all night here'. "Wait... Yuki is here?" He asked frantically, his violet yes wide as the implications of that statement.   
  
Doctor Mitsuga glanced at her patient for a moment, before nodding. "Yes, he's the one that brought you in last night, and consequently, hasn't left your side since then."   
  
Shuichi practically began beaming at this statement. Maybe Yuki didn't hate him as much as he thought. He had hoped that his lover would return from New York City, but a little part of him kept telling him that he was wrong. He was happy to see that he had been correct in trying to push that voice from his mind.   
  
"I've also instructed Uesugi-san that you are to have at the least, two weeks of rest. That means that you are to do nothing, and I mean nothing. No interviews, no rehearsals, nothing."   
  
Shuichi stared at the Doctor. "But..."   
  
She smiled at him, "Don't worry, I've already instructed your friends when they were here last night. They all agreed that you needed the rest." She stared at him, "Uesugi-san has promised me that you will be resting." She turned to leave. "You have two weeks off, Shindou-san. Think about how you want to use them."   
  
Shuichi watched her go, his mouth hung slightly open. As if he realized what he was doing, his mouth shut with an audible snap, and he leaned back into the pillows.   
  
"I guess two weeks off isn't so bad..." he mused softly to himself. "And I'll hopefully get to spend it with Yuki..."   
  
Shuichi's thoughts trailed off as he eyes fell gently closed, thoughts of Yuki following him into his dreams.   
  
****   
  
Yuki watched as the little pink haired singer slept. He really wished Shuichi would hurry and wake up. He didn't think he could go much longer without either a cigarette or a beer. Although he knew that he could go downstairs and outside the hospital at anytime to smoke, he was reluctant to leave Shuichi. He knew that this young man was becoming a weakness, but at the same time he found himself caring about this fact less and less.   
  
The head on the pillow moved, brow furrowing as he dreamed. Yuki stared at Shuichi's face, watching as the movement became more, a slight shake of the head, clutching of the sheets, and the movement of soft lips as the younger man began to mouth something under his breath. When it became apparent to Yuki that Shuichi's dreams weren't off the pleasant variety, and that he wasn't about to wake up on his own, the writer reached out a hand to wake him.   
  
The briefest touch on the shoulder was all that Shuichi needed to open his eyes wide and sit up in bed, his hands clutching his shirt as he panted for breath. It took a moment for Shuichi's sleep fogged mind to acknowledge that someone else was in the room, but as he turned his head in Yuki's direction, Yuki saw his eyes light up in recognition right before Shuichi threw himself into Yuki's arms, tears running down his face.   
  
Yuki stared at the man in his arms; face unreadable as his arms came around Shuichi, pulling him closer.   
  
Hushed sobbing was the only sound in the suddenly too quiet room.   
  
****   
  
Yuki placed his beer on the table, glancing over at the silent Shuichi. He had brought the vocalist home only hours before, and Shuichi had said nothing since then, only a thank you to Yuki for taking him to the hospital. Then the young man had retreated to the couch, huddling up under his blanket, knees drawn up to his chest.   
  
Yuki had left him there, figuring that the other man had needed time for himself, and set out to check the rest of the house. To his astonishment, everything was as he had left it when he had disappeared. It didn't look like Shuichi had touched anything... even the bed was made, and Yuki could tell that Shuichi hadn't slept in during all the time that he was in the apartment alone.   
  
Moving on, Yuki went to kitchen, noting as he opened the fridge, that there was hardly anything in there. '_When was the last time the baka ate something?_' He wondered to himself as he picked up one of the cans of beer that was still left. He debated on making something, but a scan of the rest of the kitchen showed no satisfactory items for food, Yuki decided that take out would probably be the best. He picked up the phone, watching Shuichi from his position as he placed the order. As soon as he was done, and the phone was placed back into it's cradle, Yuki once again joined his lover in the living room, sitting down next him.   
  
"The food will be here in half an hour." He stated, watching Shuichi for a reaction, and wasn't surprised when none was forthcoming. He found himself growing both more frustrated and worried. The brooding, silent treatment was his way of dealing with things, not Shuichi's. Not to mention that he found himself missing the overly loud and obnoxious actions and mannerisms that were Shuichi's trademark.   
  
Yuki stared Shuichi for a minute, before it all hit him, collapsing around him in a suddenly suffocating moment. It was time to swallow his pride, and his damn uncaring ways. Shuichi had tried to be there for him, and the least Yuki could do was try to be there for Shuichi.   
  
"Shuichi... I'm sorry...."   
  
  
To be continued....   
  
  
Whee! Now I'm off to interrogate my muses and discover who was the one that wants me to write that Gravi/Weiß Kreuz crossover. They kept me up half the night trying to plant scenes in my head. Damn muses... *leaves mumbling all the way* 


	4. Silent Thoughts

Whee! Chapter 4! You know, I wish I knew how long this fic was going to be.... ^_^;;   
  
Author's Notes: Since I have finally received the first 3 volumes of the Manga, I've decided to include mentions of Shuichi's sister, Maiko. She's probably very OCC (at least, the mentions of her), but just bare with me. Also, I'm probably making Shuichi's Mom a bitch, but then there wasn't much of her in the Manga. I think the only time I saw her was in the beginning of volume 3, and then nowhere else.   
  
As always, Gravitation doesn't belong to me. All I have of this series is the 13 episodes, the 11 volumes of manga, and the soundtrack CDs. ^_^   
  
Any and all angst in this part is to be blamed on the fact that I wrote this while listening to both Yami no Matsuei OSTs. _The Devil's Trill_ is a wonderful piece of orchestral music. ^_^ Of course, listening to the WK TV OST will provide you with plenty of angst pieces too...   
  
And once again, thanks to my betas for reading this. It would've been out sooner, but Galaxia was off in Vegas....   
  
  
**Silent Night**   
  
By: Robin Terrae   
  
  
Chapter 4: Silent Thoughts   
  
  
There was no sound from the pink-haired vocalist, but Yuki watched as Shuichi raised his head, confusion floating in the depths of his violet eyes. Someone once told Yuki that eyes where the windows to the soul, and right now Yuki could see everything that Shuichi was feeling.   
  
For a few tense minutes, they both sat in silence, staring into each other's eyes. Shuichi suddenly lowered his head, and Yuki could almost visualize the mental shields going back into place. For a fleeting moment, Yuki wondered if this was how Shuichi felt when dealing with him, and wondered if someone somewhere was getting a very good laugh out of this.   
  
Yuki opened his mouth, when Shuichi finally spoke. "I had nightmares." He said softly, and Yuki almost had to lean forward in order to catch his words. "About New York." He shuddered once, bringing up shaking arms and wrapping them around himself, as if protecting himself from the memory.   
  
But Yuki knew that that never worked.   
  
He had too many nightmares himself.   
  
"I dreamt that..." his beautiful voice faltered for a moment, "dreamt that you actually managed..." He swallowed hard, trying to force words out past his closed throat, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. "to.. to use the gun." A stray tear managed to sneak its way past Shuichi's barriers to trickle down his cheek, but the young man made no move to wipe it away.   
  
Neither did Yuki, who sat in silence, digesting his lover's words. Although acts of affection were not something that he did, he wanted nothing more than to take Shuichi into his arms, and show him how alive he was. But now wasn't the time. Instead, he sat silently, waiting for Shuichi to finish.   
  
"I always get there too late..." Shuichi whispered brokenly. "I always hear the gun go off, and then I get to the room... and..."   
  
Yuki lit a cigarette and brought it to his lips and inhaled, before glancing back at Shuichi, and gently blowing the smoke in the air. "Why haven't you been eating then?" he asked, voice harsher than he had intended.   
  
Shuichi flinched as he felt his lover's golden eyes staring at him, the voice only showing Shuichi how upset Yuki was with him. "I couldn't keep anything down." He answered. "And then came all the rehearsals for the tour..." Shuichi trailed off, knowing his excuse was weak.   
  
Yuki stared hard at the younger man, but before he could respond, the doorbell rang. Silently cursing whatever gods had decided to make his life a living hell, Yuki got up from the couch, making his way towards the front door, making sure to grab his wallet on the way.   
  
Shuichi watched his lover move, eyes lingering on Yuki's back before he lowered them again, down towards his lap. For a second, he wondered what Maiko would think of him if she were to see him now, but stopped that train of thought before it could go anywhere else. His family was not something that he wanted to dwell on, especially now. Not after his mother.... He stopped there. Now was definitely not the time for that.   
  
Yuki came back into the room, staring down at Shuichi as the other sat on the couch, the picture of absolute misery. Yuki placed the bag down on the table, waiting for Shuichi to acknowledge him, but the other man didn't move.   
  
Yuki sighed inwardly. This was going to be a tougher battle than he thought. But he was willing to be patient if he had to... after all the crap he had given to Shuichi, and the way that he treated his young lover, it was the least he could do.   
  
"Food's here." He said, unnecessarily, only to see what reaction he would get out of the once energetic singer.   
  
"I'm not all that hungry, Yuki." Shuichi responded, softly.   
  
"When's the last time you ate?" Yuki shot back, temper flaring for an instant before he managed to get back under control. He mentally winced as he saw Shuichi visibly flinch from his anger.   
  
"The other day, when Hiro took me out."   
  
"You heard the doctor, you have to eat something."   
  
It occurred to Shuichi at this moment, as he glanced up at Yuki, watching the writer glower at him, that Yuki could be just as strong willed as him at times. Realizing that Yuki was not about to let him get away without eating, Shuichi numbly reached out to pick up his chopsticks. '_When the hell did Yuki develop a mother-hen complex?_' part of his mind wondered. But he ignored it as he placed the first bite of food in his mouth.   
  
Yuki watched him like a hawk, until he was satisfied that Shuichi was going to keep eating, before he reached out and grabbed his own set of chopsticks. He hated role-reversals. Especially the ones that kept him form second-guessing his lover all the time. '_What ever happened to wearing his heart in his sleeve?_'   
  
They both ate in silence, Yuki concentrating on Shuichi, and Shuichi concentrating on whatever he chose to concentrate on. '_It's not like I understood that mind of his before._' Yuki reflected, watching as Shuichi took another helping of food, pleased to see some life come back into the pink haired man's violent eyes. '_I sure as hell don't understand it now._'   
  
Shuichi placed his chopsticks on top of his plate, staring at them for a moment, before looking up to meet Yuki's eyes. "Hey, Yuki?" he asked, after a moment.   
  
Yuki glanced over at him, stopping in the middle of lighting another cigarette.   
  
Shuichi mentally stumbled at the intensity contained within Yuki's eyes, but continued on regardless, wanting to know the answer to the question that had been bothering him since he woke up in the hospital. "Why did you come back?"   
  
When Yuki didn't answer, Shuichi plowed on, afraid that he had once again upset his lover, "I mean, not that you have to tell me if you don't want to... or anything. I'm glad that you're home again... and oh, please, Yuki, don't do that agai..." Shuichi trailed off, blushing as he realized that he had started doing what he had told himself he wasn't going to do: start babbling. He once again opened his mouth to apologize when he realized something.   
  
Yuki was laughing.   
  
Laughing at him.   
  
And Shuichi wasn't sure if he should be happy that Yuki was laughing, afraid because Yuki was laughing, or worried, because his lover was Yuki Eiri and Yuki Eiri *never* laughed.   
  
So Shuichi sat, staring at his lover in wide-eyed wonder, his mouth resembling a gapping fish.   
  
After a moment, Yuki's laugher died off, and he turned to face Shuichi. He sighed softly. Allowing himself to feel was a relatively new experience for him, and having to explain those emotions was an even newer one.   
  
But he owed Shuichi the truth.   
  
And that's exactly what Shuichi was going to get.   
  
  
TBC...   
  
Whee! Endings are such much fun! *veg* 


	5. Confessions are Good for the Soul

If I owned Gravitation, I would mostly likely have a hell of lot more money than I have right now. I'm broke so, no, I don't own Gravi.   
  
Spoilers for the TV series, specifically the later episodes, including the whole story with ASK, and Yuki's past history.   
  
Prerequisite angst warning, but with a small amount of fluffiness. ^_^ I'm trying to get better, I promise! ^_-   
  
For Splash, for being a dear and sending me _Bird_, the new Seki Tomokazu song off of the new Gravitation drama album.   
  
And a big thank you to Galaxia... she actually beta'd the whole thing for me! ^_^   
  
  
**Silent Night**   
  
  
By: Robin Terrae   
  
  
Chapter 5: Confessions are Good for the Soul   
  
  
Shuichi stared at Yuki, anything that he was about to say dying before he could even give voice to it. The only thought that crossed his mind that he was able to hold onto was the idea that his lover had lost it and had finally gone crazy.   
  
"You deserve to know the truth, Shuichi."   
  
Shuichi looked confused for a moment, unsure of what truth Yuki was alluding to. "The truth about what?" Shuichi asked softly, after several moments of silence.   
  
Yuki sighed, reflexively reaching for a cigarette, but droppinghis hand instead. He was only delaying the inevitable, and he knew it, so he might as well come out and say it now. "About New York." he answered, raising his head, making sure Shuichi's violet eyes were locked with his. "About Yuki."   
  
"No... Yuki, you don't have to..." Shuichi started, only to let his voice trail off as the golden eyes of his lover fixated on him, almost glowing in their anger.   
  
"Yes, I do." Yuki almost yelled at the younger man, "Don't you see? If I don't, we're just going to keep repeating this stupid fucking circle until either one of us dies or you get tired of it." Yuki relaxed back against the couch cushions, trying to clam his anger.   
  
For a moment, Shuichi sat in front of the coffee table, just staring up at his lover, before reaching a decision. He moved towards Yuki, coming around the table, so that he was sitting at the blonde's feet. Slowly, he positioned himself so that his head was resting against Yuki's knees, trying to provide comfort to his distraught lover.   
  
After a moment, Yuki's hand began to run through the pink locks resting against his leg, taking silent comfort in Shuichi's presence. 'Even after fainting, he still gives so much to others.' Yuki thought, staring down at the younger man's hair as he played with, gathering his thoughts, trying to decide exactly how he wanted to tell the whole story to Shuichi. 'For a writer,' his subconscious told him, 'you sure as hell can't use words very well, can you?' Yuki ignored it.   
  
"I told you what happened to Yuki." He started, still moving his fingers through Shuichi's hair, "but I never told you of the events that led to it. Tohma knows... and to a lesser extent, so does Mika." His voice faltered for a moment, and Shuichi gently increased the pressure against Yuki's leg, in a show of silent support. "Yuki was my mentor... he was the first person that I truly trusted, the one that I allowed myself to open up to, and he sold me." He let out a bitter laugh, "Sold me for a fucking ten dollar American bill."   
  
Shuichi didn't glance up at his lover, but stared ahead, his eyes wide, and full of unshed tears, his mind processing what Yuki had to endure. His own experience at the hands of Aizawa Taki came back to the forefront of his mind. "Yuki..." he whispered, his voice soft.   
  
"He was drunk..." Yuki continued, knowing that that he had to finish the whole story now, or Shuichi would never hear the end of it. "I don't even remember it... all I remember is flashes of pain... and I don't remember shooting him... it's like there is a blank spot in my memory where it should be. All I remember is holding the gun, staring down at his lifeless body. Tohma showed up then, and the first thing he did was bring me back to Japan."   
  
Shuichi raised his head, staring at Yuki with wide, concerned eyes, focusing on Yuki's face. He reached out with a shaking hand, gently caressing the older man's pale cheek. He didn't say anything; he knew that now wasn't the time for babbling comments on his past. Yuki had just given him a gift, whether he knew it or not. He had just given Shuichi one of the many pieces that made him the man that he was today.   
  
Yuki's hands came up, slowly closing around Shuichi's hand, gently encasing it in his grip. He saw no pity in Shuichi's eyes, so unlike Tohma, but instead he saw understanding, acceptance, and even empathy.   
  
Yuki knew that Shuichi had a sense of what it felt like to be betrayed by those he trusted. Shuichi had trusted Aizawa Taki, the lead singer of ASK, and the older vocalist had taken that trust and used it to his advantage, trying to use it against both Bad Luck and Yuki Eiri. Shuichi had been violated in the most personal way, but the singer had bounced back from that, had overcome it, and Bad Luck had become bigger than ever.   
  
Yuki gently tugged on Shuichi's hand, pulling the younger man towards him. Shuichi resisted the movement for a moment, before allowing his lover to pull him onto the blonde's lap. Shuichi pressed his face into Yuki's neck, inhaling the older man's scent. His arms twined themselves around Yuki's neck, and Yuki's arms came around Shuichi's waist, pulling the boy closer to him, gently tucking the younger man's head under his chin.   
  
They sat in silence, each one taking silent comfort in the other's presence.   
  
Neither was sure how long they sat there like that, or when they had fallen asleep, but Yuki was suddenly woken up by a noise outside. He took a moment to remember where he was, feeling a gentle weight press against his body, and he looked down, seeing the pink haired man cuddling against his chest.   
  
"Mmmm... Yuki..." Shuichi whispered, pressing himself closer to the writer in his sleep. "... love you..." A ghost of a smile flittered across Yuki's lips, as he gently pressed a kiss to the younger man's head.   
  
"Hn... baka." Yuki whispered affectionately, "Love you too."   
  
And then Yuki once again joined his lover in the land of slumber.   
  
****   
  
_A couple of weeks later..._   
  
Shuichi bounced as he entered N-G Studios, practically running over a few the staff in his haste to get to the practice room. He flung the door open, and grinned at his fellow band mates, Sakano, and K.   
  
"I guess the two weeks off were good to him." Suguru whispered to Hiro, looking up from the sheets of music in front of him.   
  
The long haired guitarist nodded, noting that the exhausted look was gone from Shuichi's eyes, the color of his skin no longer the unhealthy white that it was, and the bounciness that was back in his best friend's movements. "I guess that time with Yuki-san was all that he needed."   
  
"I guess." Suguru responded, staring closely at Shuichi for a minute before going back to work. Hiro just grinned at the youngest member of the band as he finished tuning up his guitar.   
  
He had a feeling that life was going to get back to normal.   
  
Well, as normal as any day was for the members of Bad Luck and their friends.   
  
****   
  
Seguchi Tohma sat, staring down at his clasped hands that rested on the top of his desk. He knew that this day was coming; he just hadn't thought that it would be so soon. But then again, he reflected, maybe it's better that it was now, instead of later, when the damage could be irreversible.   
  
Yuki Eiri sighed, resisting the urge to grab a cigarette and smoke. He wanted to so badly, but he knew that Tohma didn't like people smoking in his office, and he respected the older man's wishes.   
  
"How is Shindou-san?" Tohma asked quietly, after a few tense moments of silence.   
  
"I think that you know. You know everything that happens to your employees."   
  
Tohma winced at that, knowing that he deserved it. "Maybe... but you know Shindou-san better than anyone, Eiri-san." He sighed softly, "And I'm not asking as his boss, I'm asking as both his friend and yours. As someone concerned for the well-being of his family."   
  
Yuki opened his mouth to comment on that, but changed what he was going to say at the very last minute as he glanced at Tohma's eyes. His brother-in-law was trying, and the most that he could do was try and acknowledge the effort. "Shuichi is fine. We had a long talk, and everything worked out."   
  
"A long talk?"   
  
Yuki nodded, "I told him everything." The blonde sighed, "In the past couple of months, I've discovered that a relationship needs two people to work."   
  
"And you think that Shindou-san is the one? You think that he is sincere?" Tohma asked, finally raising his eyes to meet Yuki's surprised at the tenderness in the golden orbs.   
  
Yuki laughed shortly, "One doesn't put up with half the shit that he did if they aren't sincere. He's seen the devil in me, and stayed. That's more than enough reason for me to make this work." He glanced down at his watch, "Damn."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I promised the idiot that I would take him out for lunch." Yuki made his way towards the door, twisting the handle and opening it, before glancing back at Tohma. "You and Mika should come over for dinner one night." He said, before stepping out of the office, and shutting the door.   
  
Tohma sat at his desk, blue eyes wide as he digested what Yuki just said to him. For a moment, he did nothing, but then he smiled. Even if his brother-in-law didn't like him i n *that* way, he was still willing to reach out and try bridging that gaps that lay between him and his family.   
  
If this was the result of one Shindou Shuichi on one Yuki Eiri, then Tomha couldn't bring himself to be against the relationship. Still smiling, he reached over and grabbed his phone, quickly dialing a number.   
  
"Mika? Hi. I have something to tell you..."   
  
And then Tohma realized that he had done it.   
  
He had let go.   
  
****   
  
Shuichi stared at his hand, where it lay, entwined with Yuki's. After a moment, he glanced up at Yuki, and saw the older man was smiling down at him. He blinked, surprised, but then all thought was brushed from his mind, as Yuki gently covered his lips with his own, pushing him down onto the couch.   
  
And Shuichi didn't have to think for the rest of the night.   
  
  
~Owari~   
  
First finished Gravitation fic! Everyone celebrate! ^_^   
  
I think that I'm going to continue this timeline, with my idea for the Weiß Kreuz/Gravitation crossover... especially since some unnamed people have been telling me that they want to see it...   
  
Heh... ^_^;; 


End file.
